Monday, November 10, 2008

Zen, high finance and the art of BBQ assembly

Howdi Folks, J here,
I don't know what came over me last weekend but in a fit of marital bliss I went and signed away my soul to G.E. money for a BBQ. It is apparently 'interest free' for 12 months, but I will be paying it out well before then thus avoiding the opportunity for them to charge me 1 years interest on day 365 + 1 at the highway robbery rate of 29.45% !!

The really good bit is that I got 'pre approved' for a limit of $10,000 and am expecting a card in the mail any day now that will allow me to pull that limit out of an ATM machine (again at 29.45% + a 3% withdrawal fee!!)

Pigs arse !! I got bitten by this sort of thing once before as a lad and came to within a hair breadth of bankruptcy..... so thanks for the offer Mr G.E. money but no thank you.

Anywhooo, having gotten that rave out of the way A and I consulted the astrological and biorhythm charts, called a meeting and decided that we would put the BBQ together on Sunday arvo after a good shag, going out for breakfast and a quick ride through the dandenongs on Sunday morning to make sure we were both feeling happy with each other, thus minimising the chance of any arguments during the assembly process.

Such was my commitment to the cause that I even let her ride my bike for part of the ride!!

As a result of this preparation and my masters degree in Ikea furniture assembly from the university of Stockholm (Cranbourne campus) the assembly of the BBQ went well (as did the turf laying once I mastered the concept of 'brown side down, green side up'), with the exception of one 'I told you so' moment from A and a slight hole misalgnment problem, the sort you would expect to get from a chinese guy who is getting paid 50c a day to build BBQ's for some capitalist.

As it turns out Getting A to 'help' me put the BBQ together was a good Idea because we had a heap of nuts and bolts left over and if she hadnt supervised the job and if I hadnt put together the BBQ as per the instructions of A, I would have been accused of doing a shonky job of it.

As for pictures, well there are none, but it looks like every other trolley BBQ in the world apart from the cross threaded screw at the bottom of the left hand side but that only adds charm. So look out for a picture of it when we get our pavers down.

The BBQ christening is set for thursday night when we have people over for dinner and yes of course, rain is forcast ..........




House-To-Be said...

aaahhhhahaha, you two totally crack me up every morning when I read your posts. Very entertaining and I love the way you guys write.

So thanks for the chuckle over your Sunday Morning ummmmm, activities! John you must of been really loving her if she got to ride your bike :-)

Congrats on the BBQ purchase, your backyard must be looking so good by now. Have fun Thursday night, hope the weather holds off for you.

Looks forward to the pics.

Matt Walker said...

What is this 'shag' of which you speak?? ;)